I didn't watch DOOL for quite a few years because of work and school, but as soon as I was home most weekdays putting my one year old down for a nap at the time DOOL came on I started watching again. It starts out the same way. You just want to see what the characters are up to. You snicker and roll your eyes at the bad acting and the corny flash back scenes, congratulate yourself on getting a life and feeling sorry for the people who actually do watch this rubbish...but then and you don't know how it happened...it's two years later and you're posting on a DOOL online community board discussing fictional character's lives. Having heated debates about whether Sammy should be with Lucas or EJ. The funny thing is as soon as my life started getting a bit too dramatic for my own taste I dropped that show cold turkey. Haven't missed it. Isn't life full of enough drama and tragedy as it is?
I'm here to say that it is. I'm here as PROOF that it is. I'm here to update who ever is still out there waiting anxiously for my return to this oh-so-important blog. This blog has never been about trying to sugar coat the images of my life. In fact I think I started it because I wanted something real. Some truth in my life, because I'd been running from problems within my own life, trying to smile on the outside when all I really felt like doing was crying. And oh yeah, I love to write. And because I have too many embarrassing moments to keep to myself.
The facts are these: I'm pregnant. I moved back in with my husband and we are trying to make things work. Things aren't perfect, and they probably won't ever be. Life is imperfect and so is love. In both things you have to find balance. What things you are willing to lay to rest and what things you are going to fight for.
Thoughts about current events:
1. Telling a good friend at work I was pregnant a few months back and the funny look that came over her face as she said, "Congratulations?"
2. Telling my friends and family I'm pregnant and just knowing what they are thinking, because everybody does and I don't blame them...When and under what circumstances did THIS happen?
3. Getting charged $100.00 a therapy session so the therapist can make me bawl. I don't need to pay someone to make me cry. Sylvan Learning Center commercials already do that for free.
4. Receiving an email at work from said therapist about a book she thinks my husband and I should read, and I can't help but snort and crack up while fellow co-workers roll their eyes at the separated, pregnant, drink sipping from the bosses mug girl like here we go again.
5. Title of the book, How to be an Adult.
6. A ward member in SLC saying after I've told her I'm pregnant... "So this wasn't planned?" For a second I kind of wanted to say, "Yes, in fact it was planned." But I can't ever keep a straight face when I'm lying so I didn't.
7. Being happy that I'm pregnant although the situation isn't ideal. I love babies. I love being pregnant. I love that my daughter is super excited to be a big sister and that the baby is a girl.
8. Explaining to Ava about how you feed a baby and without blinking she says, "Oh, like a cow." Exactly.
So there it is. The truth. A page right out Days of Our Lives book. Minus all the devil possession/who the baby daddy/amnesia/quasi European accent/beautiful people storylines. And I'm owning it. I'm back from the brink of divorce...and five months prego. I dare you to find a suitable greetings card for that situation!
