There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale

The hobbit in question is me. Let me tell you a story. There once was a woman. The woman had some friends who started blogging. The woman decided to try it too. It was fun. It was also a bit disheartening because the woman found it hard not to compare her life to others. The woman refused to embellish her life to make it appear better than it was. The woman really just wanted to blog about random thoughts. The woman must be a little egocentric but that's what she wanted to write about. Not her family, not their holidays or vacations together, not the crafts she does in her spare time but the stupid thoughts that flit through her brain. But the woman still felt guilty doing that. She felt like she was masquerading as a family blog when she just wanted to be a random blog. Also the woman felt like she was spending too much time thinking about and posting on her blog so she deleted it. That was two months ago. But guess what? She's back. I mean I'm back. And I will no longer be talking in third person. I promise.


I'm going to indulge my ego and write about whatever is on my mind. I may still post about my family occasionally, but they are not solely what this blog is about. If you want to read, fine. If not, that's fine too. So without further ado:


I have to discuss this horrifying phenomenon that seems to have taken possession of a few of my favorite hollywood hunks, and a few real life people I've encountered in everyday life as well.







No, Simon Cowell is not one of my favorite "hollywood hunks". But I believe I can trace this horrible trend back to him. We can all thank Mr. Cowell for bringing us the joy of American Idol. We can all give him the thumbs down for wearing this monstrosity of a shirt. I don't get it. Who finds these spandex tight shirts attractive on men? It honestly looks like he raided his girlfriend's closet.



It seems the sexiest among us are not immune. This picture for me is what broke the camel's back. Now Hugh Jackman is still a fine specimen of a man and this look is slightly better because he covered up with a jacket over the "girlfriend" shirt. Still, this is just wrong.





I'm sorry this picture is so little. I couldn't find a full sized one and I'm beginning to think that the dapper Richard Armitage ran into the same problem when looking for a shirt. The star of the romantically breath taking "North and South" made an appearance on a British children's show in which he read a couple of books. His bad choice in attire is equally as breath taking, but in a very bad way.



Ah, Gerard Butler he has the deadly trifecta when it comes to a man: 1. his Scottish accent 2. his manly body 3. his brains, he was a lawyer in his native Scotland. I wonder where his brain was when he decided to follow his fellow Brits, Mr. Cowell and Mr. Armitage and put on the deep V-neck version of the "girlfriend" shirt. Listen buddy, ever since watching The Phantom of the Opera and discovering that beautiful face of yours, well the right hand side of it anyway, I've been able to forgive you a lot of things. I've forgiven the fact that you can't seem to settle down even though you are pushing forty. I've forgiven your juvenile sense of humor in interviews and even your incessant need to say the F word way too often. But this, Gerry, my one time fantasy crush, this is a deal breaker. I can't handle this sexually ambiguous shirt. It's time we parted ways, my Spartan King.



One last shot of the Brit who started it all. May I point out one thing? His nipples are showing. Newsflash: women do not find nipples really attractive. Just because a man thinks they are attractive on a woman does not mean we reciprocate the same feeling towards your man nipples. I don't want to see these things through shirts. If I wanted to see them I'd google Simon Cowell shirtless. That is never, ever, ever going to happen though. Ever.


I wish I could conclude that this trend must be European and simply accept the odd quirks that sometimes are produced by that region of the world, but alas I found that picture of Aussie Hugh Jackman and had to admit that the world has now gone mad for these girlfriend shirts for guys. At my last job there was one guy in particular who started wearing a tight fitting black one to work. Every time I saw him I had to avert my eyes and hope he'd throw his work vest on quickly. In the words of nineties fitness icon Susan Powter STOP THE INSANITY!