Things That Must Go

When I used to take Ava to preschool in the mornings I would listen to a local radio station's morning show.  They have a segment on there once a week called, Things That Must Go which is basically a list of complaints they compile.  While I've been trying to focus on the positive lately I think I'll have to descend into negativity for just a few minutes.  There are a few things that have been, well, bugging me.  Indulge me.

My list of Things That Must Go -

1. Websites tailoring their ads to what I've been looking at on the internet.  Anytime I look at almost any retailer online the next website I go to, like KSL or my homepage has the exact same piece of furniture/shoes/dress that I was looking at.  It reminds me of that movie Minority Report with Tom Cruise where it's set in the future and when he walks into a shopping mall all these ads pop up addressing him.  I feel violated.  I know it's just a chaise lounge or five inch stilettos I'll probably never wear because I've never gotten used to walking in heels, but it bothers me that "Big Brother" is watching.  I'm moving to Washington and stocking up on the ammo.  I'd rather live next to Sasquatch.

2. Nursing Bras.  Skip this one if me talking about my decolletage makes you uncomfortable (I know I do it often).  What is the deal with nursing bras?  You've never had bigger boobs in your whole life but these bras have NO support.  When I bought some bras from my local "Lactation Station" (true story, that's the name.  Made me think of pulling up and have milk pumps instead of gas pumps.) The fitting expert discouraged me from buying under-wire because she was afraid it would hurt my milk supply.  I'm sorry but that cotton/spandex band at the bottom of this "bra" is not going to cut it.  I might as well wear a tent because there's no way I'd want to go out in public looking like that!  When I told her that she made me feel vain, like I was putting my vanity ahead of what was best for my baby.  I've nursed before.  I know I am not going to have a problem with my milk supply lady.  

3. Ladies making you feel guilty about nursing/not nursing/duration of nursing.  It's a personal choice.  Nursing basically takes over you life.  I can understand why it's not appealing to everyone.  Likewise, people getting uncomfortable when your baby is hungry in public.  Personally I use a nursing cover, because I'm not comfortable letting it all hang out.  I was at the park the other day with my friend, who also has a young baby and the kids were hungry so we nursed them both using our Hooter Hiders. This older lady leaned over and said, "I really commend you women for covering up.  There was a woman here last week, she was European, and she just nursed her baby out in the open.  She had no decency.  It was disgusting."  I was pretty cool toward the woman and didn't say much because it made me mad.  First of all lady, nursing is a totally natural thing.  We are mammals and thus provide nourishment for our young through lactation.  That's right, boobs aren't just for ogling.  I can understand how someone might feel uncomfortable, but you don't have to look.  Get up and move if it bothers you.  If my baby is hungry and screaming I'm not going to make her wait until I get home or nurse her in a filthy, disgusting public restroom.  Our society is so messed up when it comes to boobs.  I promise that's my last one about boobs.

4.  What's New Scooby-Doo?  My daughter loves Scooby-Doo.  I used to watch the older ones and was interested to see what the new ones were like.  I'm not a fan.  The Velma and Daphne characters have been totally sexualized.  (Which is ironic since the old series was from the sixties.)  It floored me for a kids show that even at that young of an age our kids are getting messages about women as objects.  In one episode entitled Camp Scare, the gang goes boating.  The "camera" zooms in on Velma and Daphne as they emerge from the dressing room in their swimsuits and then it cuts to Freddie and Shaggy slack-jawed with lust.  In another episode Freddie has gotten his shirt caught on some hook that in turn hoisted him up to the ceiling.  He asks Velma and Daphne for help.  Daphne (the "pretty" one) struggles with the controls and can't figure it out.  Freddie cries out in frustration, "Surely, Velma (the "smart" ie ugly one") can figure it out!"  Velma it turns out, can't figure it out either.  Maybe I'm just being sensitive, but it bothers me that my five-year-old is being fed this through a cartoon.  I guess it's time to put my foot down about Scooby-Doo.  Pretty sad that a kid can't watch a "cartoon" intended for them.

5.  The smell in our apartment.  Sometimes it's a gross sewer smell coming up through the drains.  Sometimes it's over powering moth balls.  Sometimes it's stinky ethnic food filtering through the vents from our neighbors.  Oh and the fish smell.  Our neighbors eat a lot of fish.  I've tried every known good smelling scent to combat it.  Nothing has touched it.  It's time to move.

6.  The skinny jean.  Not everyone is skinny.  Enough said.

7.  Me thinking that dilemma was spelled with an n as in dilemna.  I swear I was taught this in elementary school.  Likewise, blond.  I've always spelled it with an e on the end.

8. My husband's dumb "smart" phone.  It is the proverbial other woman in our marriage.  He's always playing games, or surfing the web on it.  What do I have to do to get your attention?  Draw a tic-tac-toe board on my stomach?  You want to play games?  Let's whip out Clue or Uno.  I guess I'm old school but I don't see the appeal of the smart phones unless I'm somewhere I'm not familiar with and need to find a specific location.  Annoying.

9.  Kids running into your legs in a crowd.  Including my own.  I'm always telling Ava to pay attention.  Before I had kids this used to bug the crap out of me.  I know, I know, I sound like a grouch.  I guess it's a jungle of legs out there for them but I can see the looks of annoyance when Ava walks wherever and nearly gets run over by a shopping cart of a fellow customer in a hurry.  I feel like I'm wrangling cattle sometimes with that girl.  I can only imagine having a bevy of children.

10. I read online recently of a celebrity that was getting "scary" skinny as the article noted.  It posted several pics in which, yes, the celebrity was looking to my eyes like she might have an issue.  I then read the comments, which I never should do on any article on the internet because inevitably it becomes a free for all and people are just mean.  What struck me was that in the media there is always women being attacked for gaining too much weight or on the flip side losing too much weight but I've never seen an article like that about a man.  It's such a double standard.  I guess the message being portrayed is do what you have to do to be skinny because being fat is gross, but don't get carried away because then you might look gross too. 

11.  I'll end on a positive note if anyone is still reading after boobs and lactation and me getting my feminist dander up over a cartoon.  Things That Must Stay: Strangers coming to the rescue.  I've been having some issues with my car.  It's died several times leaving me stranded with two kids in the back seat.  There were two times my husband was at work and I didn't have a lot of options.  Both times within minutes at least two people came over to ask if they could help.  I'm not a very trusting person.  I always assume someone being nice to me has an ulterior motive.  I don't know why I'm this way.  It's not a very open way to live one's life.  But I was so grateful for the men who helped me out.

I guess if I just cut out all technology in my life it would solve 4 of my 10 problems.  I've blogged about the appeal of Mennonite lifestyle before, maybe I'll convert.  Or else you'll find me packing heat up in the Pacific Northwest.