Crucial Information or Everything You Didn't Need to Know About Me

I must eat my potato chips from smallest to largest.  It drives me crazy if I don't.  That's why it saves us all a lot of trouble if I just buy Pringles.  Or even better not to even have them in the house, since my daughter will ask for them morning, noon, and night and even if I say no she will wait until I'm distracted enough doing something else and then pull a chair up to the counter and pillage the chips.

I have several irrational fears including: Grasshoppers, Praying Mantis, Large snakes and this fictional baddy from Alice in Wonderland...The Jabberwocky.  I don't doubt the rumor that Mr. Carroll was high when he penned much of that book.  I'm not kidding when I say when I find myself alone I look for Jabberwocky's around every corner.  Look at him.  He disgusts me.  Doesn't he just look like he has some sort of mucus dripping off of him?  Gross.

At various points in my life I've been attracted to several unique men.  This man is one of them.  Gene Wilder.  It's the eyes, the wild flying hair, the way he says, "...we are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams."

Here is another one.  No matter that I'd physically dwarf his pint sizedness, he's just...mysterious.  Could you be...the most beautiful girl in the world?  Could you be?  Prince, you had me at beautiful!  His only downfall...his nose.  Keep reading.

My mom may have loved boy faced Paul McCartney, but his looks are much too typical for my tastes.  Ringo Starr was my man.  Throughout middle school I had a re-occurring dream that I gave birth to our love child in a cabin in the woods.  Oh Ringo, you were born too soon. 

Any sort of colored candy must be eaten in proportion to their numbers.  Let me explain.  If I grab a handful of M&M's and there are 3 greens, 5 browns, 2 oranges, and 3 reds, I must eat two browns first.  Then one green, one red, followed by one brown again.  This makes the numbers all even.  Now I can eat them in a color coordinated pattern that dwindles their numbers evenly.  I never thought I was OCD until I just explained that.  The only exception to the rule...jellybeans.  I pick out the reds.  Why do they even make other colored jelly beans? 

My toes are odd.  I love my feet.  They have high arches and look elegant to me...until your eye roves down to the toes at which point the genetic lottery decided to pick 10 toes all exactly the same stubby length.  They're like lil' smokies hanging off the bottom of my foot.  The big toe is of course wider and slightly longer, but still basically the same length as the four freaks of nature next to it.  Flintstone feet. 

Foods that disgust me...tapioca pudding (texture), most fish except spicy sushi, Gardetto's (say goodbye to romance devil breath), celery (strings that remind me of veins), peas, grapefruit, creamed tuna on toast (my mom's last ditch option for dinner *shudder*). 

They say you are attracted to men who may have physical traits that remind you of your family.  Weird.  Creepy.  Maybe.  But I have a penchant for long, distinct noses.  Maybe I have some weird genetic drive to create offspring with a record length proboscis.  Who knows.  I can't explain it.  If a man has a nose that has no distinction then I am not interested.  This man in particular has what I consider to be a pretty perfect nose.  His name is Richard Armitage.  He is a British actor.  Oh Richard, you were born on the wrong side of the pond.