Life is Beautiful

I was driving down our street today.  I had ducked out to go and get a cold beverage while my girls were eating lunch and my husband was watching Netflix.  Sometimes I have to snatch moments for myself, with no little hands grasping at me.  The night before I had watched my girls dancing in the sprinklers and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude came over me.  I wanted to run inside and grab my husband and say, "Look how lucky we are!  We are their parents."  I didn't.  I just smiled and watched them in the fading light. 

To be honest, those moments are few and far between.  I fluctuate between adoring those little girls to wanting to throttle them.  With Ava out of school the three of us are together constantly.  I left them with a friend briefly to go to the dentist last Friday.  It was like I was at the spa.  I was disappointed when my appointment was shorter than expected.

Lately I feel as if a fog has lifted from off of my soul.  I've talked openly about my struggles with depression.  I still take Zoloft daily.  But for the first time since my youth I feel truly content and happy.  I've been writing a lot.  Poems and stories.  It lights me up in a way that nothing else does.  I'm trying to appreciate where I am at in my life.  Instead of looking back or looking forward I am more in the moment with my kids, with my husband. 

I see more beauty in the world than ever before.  The trees swaying in the wind, a robin hopping across the grass, the way the dew looks like diamonds on the leaves of the ground cover in the mornings...everything tells me that God loves me.  That I matter to Him.  That the work I am doing right now, the daily grind of taking care of young children will make a difference in their lives.  I hope everyday that they know how much them being in my life has changed me for the better. 

The Hike from Hell

I don't know where I get these wild ideas from.  I guess I thought we should attempt to make some memories with the girls by subjecting them to five hours lost in the wilds of Big Cottonwood Canyon. 

It started out innocently enough, with a drive to the top of the Canyon to Brighton Ski Resort.  There we ate our sandwiches and Cheetos.

 Fueling up!  You're going to need it!

First mistake we made was letting Ava wear the Camelbak.  Thus began the squat and pee all along the trail.  Other times Ava would put the tube in her mouth, flail her arms around and say, "I'm a scuba diver!  I'm a scuba diver!"

We first noticed this smudge of rainbow in the sky when we left our house.  We followed it all the way up the canyon, and then all the way up to Twin Lakes.  No gold was found.

 A nice boardwalk encircles Silver lake. 

This is our second mistake.  We decided to hike from Silver Lake up to Twin Lakes and then over to Lake Solitude.  We should have hung out around Silver Lake like most of the families were doing.  I decided to get all Cooper on us and try to prove something, like I still believe I'm fifty pounds lighter and in shape enough to climb anything other than a few stairs.  Side note: This copse of aspens was enchanting.

Okay at this point I'm stalling.  Stopping every twenty feet of so to feign taking pictures when really I'm so winded I just need a breather already. 

 Silver lake from the trail above.

 Between then and now, things got pretty dicey for me.  Me and a seventy year old Indian woman with a cane kept playing leapfrog along the trail.  Her husband said to me at one point, "She's having difficulty because she is an asthma patient."  I looked at him and said, "I'm having difficulty because I'm so out of shape."  It was pretty sad.  Ava kept waiting for me, though and encouraging me to continue.  I think the worst thing about that trail was it was straight up and super rocky.  Like climbing stairs you could twist your ankle on at any moment. 

Brig didn't fare much better.  Besides having to pause every five minutes for me, he decided to wear flip flops? What?  Worst hiking choice ever.  He said to me before we left the house, "It's just a stroll, right?"  Right.  He was on his tippy toes trying to grip his flip flops while hauling Brielle up the mountainside with him. 

Brielle did okay.  She wasn't super pleased to be in the backpack, but didn't cry continuously like Ava did when she was that age. 

 Twin Lakes.  You weren't worth it.

Brig says, "I'm not going back down that way!  Can you imagine how bad it's going to suck?  Let's just follow the trail around by Lake Solitude and back to Silver Lake."  The only problem with that was there were no markers telling us which trail led where.  So we did what any idiot would do...we guessed.

We climbed over a ridge and started our descent into Hell.  The trail was pretty good at first.  Then it got muddy.  Then muddier.  Then snowy.  The trail would be covered over by giant slides of snow.  We either had to wade through them, or hike down the steep side hill and back up around them.  It wasn't pleasant for Brig and his flip-flops and our baby tilted sideways.  Actually to be honest this is when I started to have fun.  This should tell you something about my monotonous home life.  Yay!  We might be lost!  Yay, adventure!

We couldn't have been that lost because we kept glimpsing ski lifts.  It's just the trail was not very maintained.  On one snow patch Brig slipped and then I slipped and we both flew down the snow.  It was great.  I was laughing.  Brigham was not.  Ava and I came up with this idea that she was the host of an adventure show like Bear Grylls.  "I'm Adventure Girl!  And this is my crew!" She kept shouting.  Love that girl.

Like I said earlier, Ava kept having to pee.  There was no one around.  I guess they knew something about the trail that we didn't.  Ava peed on her shoes and socks each time.  She had a bad case of urine foot.

Lake Solitude.  More of a pond if you ask me.  It was a beautiful day to lose your way in the mountains.  All in all, I had a great time after I didn't have to climb straight up continuously.  Ava had fun, and Brig and Brielle made it through.

On a serious note, I was very frustrated with myself while hiking.  At Twin Lakes I said to Brig, "There are a lot of things I want to do in my life, and this body won't allow me to do them."  I'm back to the drawing board.  Look for a new Weight-Loss Wednesday post next week.  

Tour de Cure

My husband and his two brothers decided to raise money to do the Tour de Cure in Brigham City last weekend.  All the proceeds went to the American Diabetes Association.  They rode sixty miles.  Go Smith Men!

 Brig rolling in first.

 Then Ryan and Brandt.

Way to go!

Splash Park in Cottonwood Heights

A good time was had by all.

Last Day of School and Kindergarten Graduation

I'm going to steal my good friend Jill's idea here and post a picture of Ava on her first day of Kindergarten and also on her last day. 

She learned how to read this year, how to add and subtract, how to do many yoga poses in P.E. (Times sure have changed since I was a kid.  Ava's never even heard of Dodgeball.) how to maintain a not-so-secret crush on a boy named Mattheo, and how to pronounce her D's and T's in Speech Class.  Ms. Eskeli wrote about her: Ava is a good student who listens well.  She is friendly with other students and helps those around her who need it. 

Now on to Graduation. 

Ava Smith and Ava Wilcox filing in behind her.  You gotta love naming your kid a name you didn't know was so popular.

Ava had such a serious look on her face the entire time.  She kept trying not to smile.  I'm not sure why. 

Each kid stood up and said what memory they liked best about their year in Kindergarten.  Ava said eating a snow cone on Field Day.  Is she my kid, or what?

 You're looking at the graduating class of 2024!  Makes you feel old, doesn't it?

Ava's Kindergarten love Mattheo is in the bottom right hand corner proudly displaying his picture.  For Ava it was Mattheo.  For me it was Aaron Chambers.  Doesn't everyone have a first crush? 

Funny story about getting ready that morning.  Ava had to be there earlier so she left while I was doing my hair.  I hardly wear my hair half up anymore, but felt like it this day so I put it up and Bree walked into the bathroom and immediately stared at my head with scared eyes and backed the heck out of there.  She ran from me when I tried to pick her up and change her.  She hid behind Brig's legs when I came into the bedroom.  She was terrified of me.  I guess I'll have to retire the hairstyle.  Even at the graduation she wouldn't sit on my lap or have anything to do with me. 

 Ava and Brielle

 Ava and Meli

 Ava and Ms. Eskeli

After their ceremony they disrobed and did a play of The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.  It was cute.  Then they had refreshments and signed year books or homemade autograph books for the cheap parents like me.  Brig was really embarrassed that I hadn't purchased a year book for Ava.  It was only ten dollars, but when I got the form to order one I thought That doesn't seem very necessary.  They're only six.  It looked like about half of the parents felt the same way, and the other half did not.  I guess I'll order a very necessary year book next year.  What can you do?