Monday, February 2, 2009

It was never between you and them anyway...

I learned a lesson from a fourteen year old young woman in church yesterday. It put things in perspective for me. I think I need to be reminded often. She got up to bare her testimony and started by saying she's been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and really feels like she doesn't fit in. She said she had read a quote attributed to Mother Theresa and it had really touched her. She didn't quote the whole thing but I went home and looked it up and here it is:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Be successful anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

I have always worried about what others thought of me. I've often felt like I didn't fit in. Here was this young girl who admitted her vulnerability but she took courage in the knowledge that in the end it really doesn't matter how others judge you, just how God judges you. If I had realized that at fourteen, I may not be twenty-seven and still doubt myself.

I guess I always thought that when you were a grown up that you didn't struggle with confidence anymore because you were grown up. That doesn't make sense but it's what I thought as a shy, awkward teenager. What challenges could possibly chip away at self esteem when you are a mother and a wife? I've let too many negative thoughts about myself get in the way of me just being me. How many times have I entered a room where I didn't know a lot of people and start comparing myself in the most harshest manner to other women in the room? It becomes so overwhelming that I can't just be me. I stay quiet and pray that no one notices me.

My mother thinks I'm wonderful. Most mothers think that about their children. That's why I've always rolled my eyes when she reassures me. I always think, but she doesn't know I can curse like a sailor when I'm angry, etc, etc, etc,. But the thing I thought about last night is but Heavenly Father does know I do all these things. And he loves me anyway. He still wants me anyway. He still knows the potential I have. We had a seminary lesson years ago about seeing others with the eyes of God. How he would look at them. I think it's easier for me to see other's redeeming traits than to see my own. I'm never going to be "good enough" but I can be "good". In the end that's all that matters anyway, right. How good we are to God, others, and to ourselves. I'm so glad a young woman was honest enough to stand up and speak her heart. She's given me the courage to sit and type mine. And if you're still reading this, gold star! I hope you got something out of it other than this lady needs to get to bed and stop analyzing herself.

7 comments:

Melissa said...

While you learned something about self confidence of Sunday, i learned a valuable lesson about judging OTHERS. we went to a ward in the "willow park" area. I walked in and instantly noticed the young men who were to pass they sacrament. They had mohawks, or their hair was hanging in their eyes. i instantly thought "hoodlums". But after sacrament, EVERY SINGLE ONE of those young men stood up and bore their testimonies. and the one "hoodlum" even got emotional and talked about how even though he may feel like no one understands his trials he know the Lord does. Needless to saying I was emotional as well! I have an uncanny ability when other critisize other to stand up for them, but at the same time will turn around and be critical of someone. I was so thankful that I had the opportunity to attend that sweet ward on Sunday. And hope I don't forget the lesson I learned too soon.

Melissa said...

While you learned something about self confidence of Sunday, i learned a valuable lesson about judging OTHERS. we went to a ward in the "willow park" area. I walked in and instantly noticed the young men who were to pass they sacrament. They had mohawks, or their hair was hanging in their eyes. i instantly thought "hoodlums". But after sacrament, EVERY SINGLE ONE of those young men stood up and bore their testimonies. and the one "hoodlum" even got emotional and talked about how even though he may feel like no one understands his trials he know the Lord does. Needless to saying I was emotional as well! I have an uncanny ability when other critisize other to stand up for them, but at the same time will turn around and be critical of someone. I was so thankful that I had the opportunity to attend that sweet ward on Sunday. And hope I don't forget the lesson I learned too soon.

Tyler and Katie said...

This has nothing to do with your post, but Jill told me you do Netflix, so I have a movie you have to get. It was the 2006 Masterpiece Theatre Jane Eyre with Ruth Wilson. It is the best movie I have ever seen and I watched it 3times, but only one disc at a time. In fact I ordered it off Amazon I loved it so much.

Jill said...

you are great. Love ya. I love the little poem.

Ericka said...

Great post and perspective! It always seems like no one else struggles internally with feelings of inadequacy and its nice to be reminded that we all have our weaknesses, insecurities, vulnerabilities, etc.

Megan and Jon said...

Denise I am not your mother, Surprise and I think you are pretty Dang OK.. I loved this post. Eventually gonna repost the quote if you don't mind..

Becca said...

Thanks for the thoughts to ponder.... How is T-town?