Shoulder Pads...Really?

It would seem that a few modern day designers have reached way, way back into history's fashion closet and pulled out a heavily shoulder padded jacket. What in the world? Those of you who keep up on fashion probably already know that the look on the runways is taking a jump back in time to when neon and acid wash was cutting edge and chic. Don't believe me? Read this http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09104/962576-314.stm . I know it's hard to tell if the model above is wearing shoulder pads or is just so emaciated that her shoulder bones are poking out of the jacket. Even the wide leg jeans can't disguise the fact her legs are tooth picks. Order the big salad next time, with full fat dressing!

For me this is good new bad news. The bad news is women are once again under the false pretension that having extra wide shoulders making your waist look smaller is genius even if it does look ridiculous. The good news is maybe we're creeping ever closer to breaking the world's unofficial embargo on curly haired mavens such as myself. Sure sleek and straight has been modern and sophisticated looking for the past 20 years, but give a girl a break, herald in the era of big curly hair! I was born too late to have enjoyed the popularity of the perm. I'll even set my hair straightener on the alter of the Trend Gods as a sacrifice. "Curly Rules and Straight Drools! Puff is the stuff! Straight is just fluff!" Chant with me now.

KidzBop

I wanna know who thought it was a good idea to make often mature themed Top 40 hits into kid friendly fare. Honestly, their motto is sung by kids for kids. I don't care who's singing it, it's just bizarre. Little innocent voices singing Sean Kingston's "Take You There" was surreal. The lyrics truly aren't filthy but just a little too heavy for little kids to be singing along to. "...we can go to the slums, where killas get hung, shorty I could take you there..." Yeah, no thank you Mickey D's. I am not digging the happy meal prize!

It's the time of year when I decide to try to get my butt in shape and hence the spring cleaning of the songs loaded onto my ipod. Just thought I'd share a few I added that really get me motivated....

All-American Rejects - Night Drive. The tempo and steady beat is perfect for my pace. Love it.

The Hives - Tick Tick Boom and Try it Again. Tick Tick Boom is fast and explosive for when you're trying to up your speed. Try it Again is just fun to run to. The first few lines are just awesome: "Here is to you honey. But I'm out of your league. Never gonna pass me' Cause I'm out of your league, your league, your league. Lookie here baby You're coming my way. But I move like a landslide. So get out of my way and stay away"

Muse - Supermassive Black Hole. I'm not trying to be a famous novelist writing about vampire love, but this song rocks.

Fall Out Boy - Sugar We're Going Down. Great song, weird music video. Youtube it, you'll see what I mean.

Elastica - Connection. An oldie but a goodie. Takes me back to when Clarkston had one ward and one soft ball team and we dominated in our pepto bismol colored shirts. Let's go Iris Glow!

On watching Twilight...

I admit to being swept away in the story of Twilight. The books were good. Not great, but good. The movie....not so much. I've seen the movie twice in theaters and now I got it through Netflix to watch with Brig. He wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Usually when I'm reading a book I really like and am shirking my responsibilities to finish it he never inquires about what I'm reading. But then he heard me discussing it with my friends and my neighbor and he heard about it so much he was baffled by it's popularity. This is how it went down a few seconds after the credits rolled...

Brig: "That has to be the cheesiest movie I've ever seen."
Denise: "Yes, it is kind of cheesy, but you can see the appeal right?"
Brig: "Not really. I still don't get it."
Denise: "Every woman wants a hero to save her, and every woman at one time or another has felt the pull of the bad boy. Edward is both. They're like Adam and Eve except for Bella the forbidden fruit is loving a vampire and for Edward it's loving a mortal."
After mulling that over for a while Brig: "I still don't get it, but the soundtrack is good."

Whatever. I guess he'll never understand the appeal of the story. That's fine. He's more of an action movie type of guy anyway. I guess I'll never understand how he's seen "Gone in Sixty Seconds" numerous times but when we're at home on a Saturday night and it's playing on TNT he has to watch it again. BAH!

That takes some nuggets!

I was driving around my local community (I fondly refer to it as the armpit of Utah) when I drove past this vehicle. I passed it too quickly but in my mind I thought, "Did that just say the Ass family? Please tell me it's a joke and that some poor family doesn't really carry around that burden of a last name." I was on the road at this point but I did a u-turn and drove back into the parking lot. I pulled up behind the car and commenced to laugh until my sides hurt. I had my camera in my purse and thanked frog I had it on me. If you can't read the caption beneath the figures they are as follows: Smart, Wise, Lazy and Kiss.

Maybe this town does have some merit. It gets points for a family that is creative and snarky. My husband and I are in a never ending battle of who grew up in the worst place. Every time the sleepy community of Clarkston comes into view my husband sighs and says something akin to, "We've entered the gates of Mordor and there is Mount Doom." I in turn make all sorts of comments about the "loose" women of his hometown and their horrendously high and ratty hairstyles. Brig says I have a superiority complex about Cache Valley, but really can Box Elder County compete? Heck No! I will continue to look down my snooty nose at all things Box Elder. And that's just the way it is.

Easter Princess

Easter is admittedly my favorite holiday. Yes, even over Christmas. Why? The candy and the time of year. I love spring. I love the smell of the mud, I love the rain showers, I love watching everything turn green. It makes me hope for better things.

WTFREAK?

Last Sunday night I am flipping channels, dreading going to bed and starting another week. Since I don't work outside of the home anymore I really have nothing to dread from the work week, but like a bad habit that let down feeling after the weekend is over has never went away. Suddenly I spy a title of a t.v. show that looks very intriguing. "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" is playing on TLC. And the second I start watching I am sucked in. It's like a train wreck. How in the world do these women not know they are pregant for NINE MONTHS?!

I can understand not knowing for two or three months, maybe even five months, but the whole pregnancy? Wow. Turns out it was a marathon of the series. I know, right! There are enough women out there who didn't know they were pregnant for a whole slew of episodes? That's right. Babies being born in toilets, dirty camp restrooms, unknowing hospitals. You name it.

It got me to thinking. Most of the women had little to no weight gain. And yes, most of them were on the heavier side. But it got me to wondering if cravings and weight gain are things that come along because we KNOW we are pregnant and so all the symptoms we have heard about being associated with pregnancy come along. The extended belly I mean. None of these women had it. How much of it is influenced by psychology? I'm not saying it is. My craving for vanilla ice cream with brown gravy over it was very real. Anyway there is a video down below. Watch it. I'm telling you I was up into the late hours watching these surreal stories. DRAMA!!!

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant?!

Gloopy, Gloppy, Glumpy

If you're like me, you wake up and the first thing to pop into your mind is something yummy to eat. Oh, that's not the first thing you think about in the morning? Maybe that's why I have a few dozen extra pounds on me and you don't. But here's the deal, I've never loved breakfast food, so the food I would fantasize about was lunch food. I'd think of turkey sandwiches and a slice of pizza. Then I'd skip breakfast and wait until lunch to indulge. It doesn't take a genius to know that skipping breakfast is a bad idea, especially if you have a hard time with self-control. I'm not ingnorant I just haven't cared.

The attitude I've had for the past ten years has been, if it tastes good, I'm eating it. It's a juvenile attitude to take because it means I don't care what is going into my body and I don't care what it's doing to my body. I look at other women around my age and they are all in pretty decent shape. They care. So for the past few weeks I've been contemplating why I haven't cared enough about myself to treat my body right? Obviously I have some emotional baggage and it's contributed to the spare tire around my waist and the saddle bags on my thighs. I'm not getting into that. You people don't get compensated enough to read about my emotional issues.

But I came on here today to declare that I despise Oatmeal!!!!!! I had a heart to heart with a friend of mine and I am trying the Eat clean approach. Eating whole foods. Very limited processed foods. The diet isn't a diet at all. It's the way someone eats when they care how their body will operate in 20,30,40 years from now. I will say that eating this way makes me feel better. Yes the first couple of days almost broke me with the 0 refined sugars and I think Ava got the creeps as I stared her down salivating as she sat eating Cadbury mini eggs. Back to my contempt for the innocent looking oatmeal.

What does a person eat for breakfast who doesn't like breakfast foods? Bring on the oatmeal. No boxed cereal is allowed, which is fine with me, I've never loved the stuff. What is with Oatmeal? It's gooey and bland and quite frankly the texture gives me the heebee jeebees. I put honey and cinnamon in it, but to no avail. Ava ate half my bowl this morning and I couldn't detect any yucky faces but I kept wrinkleling my nose as she took mouthfuls. It's like the time I ordered a salad and discovered she loved lettuce. How nice is it that my child likes healthy food without being prodded? Her mother...not so much. She obviously takes after her father, the bean pole. Oh excuse me the P90X graduate not as bean polish anymore. Wish me luck with the oatmeal. I'm going to need it. It's like my mortal enemy taunting me with it's boring color and frog eyed texture.