Next time I get the bright idea to go camping please remind me of a few things...
1 - It's not fun. No matter what you think and what great memories you have from your childhood, when you're the mom it's not fun.
2 - It's a tent you're sleeping in and you only have two sleeping bags to split between 2 1/2 of you and the 1/2 usually worms her way into most of the "space" you had mistakenly thought was yours for the night.
3 - It's the end of May and it's cold at night and you hate wearing socks to sleep.
4 - Your 3 year old gets just as dirty as when they were a 2 year old and all the dirt on them drove you crazy.
5 - Your husband who has the relaxation span of your 3 year old thinks running the stairs at the campground's ampitheater is "fun".
6 - Hotdogs are gross.
7 - The rocks underneath your tent want to snuggle all night.
8 - You're way too neurotic to actually enjoy camping, especially in a non-bear proof tent. You will spend most of the night freezing, checking that your child isn't freezing, have grisly visions of bear attacks, elbowing your husband so he will stop snoring and wishing that you were in your own bed.
9 - Poptarts are gross.
10 - Your daughter ends up loving this thing called camping and you discover you don't enjoy it.
One bright spot was I started a fire all by myself in the morning when my lie-a-bed husband couldn't get himself out of the sleeping bag to do it for me. I felt pretty lumber girlish. Oh yeah, take that all you men out there I won't be needing you anymore to start my camp fires.
I was certain it was because I grew up an independent country gal, never mind that goats, horses, cows and chickens all frighten the bejeebies out of me. Don't laugh, yes chickens, they have many sharp edges that could be used in an unprovoked attack and I'm not liking the way their head moves when they walk. Steer clear of the poultry, people!
Don't get me started on goats. Goats and I are like oil and water, we don't mix. I once dated a guy who's family owned goats. We meandered through the goat yard just a stone's throw away from his house one afternoon. I was a bit skittish, but I was in love and I'd follow that boy anywhere, including into a penned area of angry goats. One goat gave me the evil eye and then lowered it's horned head and rammed me in the upper thigh. Gave me the worst dead leg of my life and that's saying something as I had a brother who tormented me growing up. I never entered that pen again, but those goats loved to mock me with their rolling eyes and their loud "MAAAA"s thown in my direction. That just reminded me of a story of the same boyfriend's parrot. I'll save that little jewel for another day, let's just say that parrot hated my 17 year old guts for no good reason.
What were we talking about again? Oh yes, my conviction that camping is not fun. I told my husband that I wasn't going again until we had a trailer with a heater. He laughed. What's that supposed to mean?
3 comments:
We tried camping this weekend too. I forgot how much work it was and remembered why we haven't done it for years. But my daughter cried all the way home and said she wanted to stay for 26 more days. I guess that's why I do it.
Do you remember my post last summer about how bad I hated camping?? I couldn't agree more with everything you said well except I like hotdogs. Lots of people commented and were like what how can you hate camping did you forget your country roots. Most of whom own their own camp trailers!!!!!
um i had a similar experience in moab but a month ago! I was so excited to camp... i do not know why. It is terrible. In my old age i need a bed and my own space and a tubby!
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