Well, judgement day dawned bright and early. With Brielle babbling happily in the doorway I tapped the scale with my foot. As if sensing the importance of the moment Brielle gathered round ye olde scale and smiled mischievously up at me as I sucked in and tried to get the proper foot alignment because I believe like a fool that the wrong foot positioning could really add a few pounds. I wonder why a berry cheesecake doesn't give me the same pause?
It wasn't all bad news. I didn't lose any weight from last week, but I didn't gain any either. I'd curse the cheesecake again but I don't want my blog rating to go from PG to PG-13. Plus, I guess it's about time for me to hold myself accountable. No, Melissa it wasn't your fault, or yours Jill. It was mine. But as one of my favorite fictional characters, Scarlett O'Hara would say..."After all, tomorrow is another day."
I've really enjoyed dancing with the assistance of Kinect. It's helped me besides just burning calories and having fun doing it. Believe it or not, it helped me realize that I have a problem. I know, how is it possible that I can get to the weight I am and not really believe it's that big of a deal? Maybe it's because I avoid the mirror at all costs, and it used to be I'd avoid the camera until I realized that I was white-washing my kids memories by refusing to be in any visual documentation of their childhood. With the kinect you get to see the outline of your body on the t.v. I couldn't make any excuses for poorly fitting clothes or unflattering angles like I could when I would see a picture of myself. There it was...me on our box tv screen. Not hourglass, not even pear, but apple shaped. Hey, apples are my favorite fruit but no one wants to look like one. It was a wake-up call. A long overdue one.
It doesn't matter that I'm married and off the market, it doesn't matter that I have had children, what matters is how I feel and to be truthful being this size makes me feel miserable and no amount of red vines and coke can make me feel better. Anyway, Ava's begging me to dance so I better put my meanderings to bed.
To my fellow fat fighters: Keep your chin up and stay away from the cheesecake.
2 comments:
Apple? I totally get it. I define my shape as a beer keg on toothpicks. Freakishly skinny legs. The rest, not so much. I think it's the hardest type of body to lose weight from, yet I keep trying. I'll be cheering you on from afar!
Phew! Now no more cheesecake! Those couple of minutes of pure bliss are not worth it... Well occasionally it is. Love you. You deserve to be happy.
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